Captivity of Creativity™

Musandam

2009-11-30T15:55:00.010+04:00

Dubai is sometimes condemned for being too mechanical, too artificial and many such things. However, it has a strange magnetism about it, and one reason for this could be the vicinity to immensely contrastive destinations which offers a ‘quick getaway’ to residents. The drive from Dubai to most destinations is characterised by the steady downward slope of real estate starting from Burj Dubai onto shorter and shorter towers to sand dunes leading into a smooth drive through rugged surroundings, until you reach the Omani border. The incessant urge of UAE residents to seek pleasure in escaping the banal effects of their mechanical life is evident in the hustling at the sleepy border. A nominal visa fee gets you permission to experience one of the best guarded secrets of the Arab world – Musandam.

Within a few seconds of driving on what seems to be a relatively new road from the Omani border town of Tibba to Khasab, our destination, you instantly know that the place has already exceeded your expectations of a weekend getaway. For most of its length, the road hugs the base of cliffs, and occasionally rises up and over them, passing through quiet settlements and within sight of the randoml fort. You drive on like an idle dreamer oblivious to the realities of the world.

It is a crowded day at the camp-site, Omanis say. You only nod and try to get accustomed to the ‘crowd’, and it seems using that word for what you see does not do justice to the place, after thinking about where you come from. You see no one, around! And that is crowded, they say? What is unbelievable is how absolutely relaxing it feels to be in a place like this. Here, the white Kanduras men wear reflects not only light but also radiates warmth, contrary to the true nature of the colour they don. Meandering through the roads – Blue seas on the left and craggy mountains on the right we reach the Dhow boat - A cranky old piece of wood having done millions of miles through these waters with the resilient Omani colors – Red, White and Green fluttering with the breeze atop its hood. As the boat slowly begins wandering into the sea, I take a moment to observe how fresh the mountains look. Like a child, I begin to associate the mountains to the wrinkles on the faces of the Oldies I know, and not surprisingly, the mountains look like some of the really grumpy but protective ones from school! It’s hard to resist jumping into the water, there is no fear of what lies beneath in these waters; this place means no harm. Jumping into the water, like in most places frequented by inconsiderate travellers, we see cola cans, bottles and other such waste on the seabed, readily accepted by nature; the cans have lost their sheen, and are one with the seabed – but it just makes me sad. Man is so Thankless for all that nature has provided. As we head back to shore, we see dolphins beating boats in races and getting us to cheer them on like kids.

I head back to Dubai thinking about every minute of my day, and how I leave a part of myself behind…and in the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, all I can say to Musandam is…”I’ll be back”.

The Flight

2009-07-23T07:31:00.003+04:00

Now thats a reasonable stab!

2009-06-16T12:21:00.002+04:00

High Profile Rape cases, Racism down under, T20 losses….wonderful events that shape history have forced me to write another meaningless post. I say meaningless, because you don’t really care for me, I am just another blogger.

High Profile Rape cases, Racism down under, T20 losses….wonderful events that shape history have forced me to write another meaningless article.

The news has been particularly entertaining the last coupla weeks – if you have not heard, Shiney Ahuja, the bollywood actor, has raped his housekeeper. On conducting a thorough investigation, private detective Byomkesh Bakshi found that Shiney distorted the story. A coupla questions crop up. For starters, why would someone with a name like Shiney think his alleged relationship with Shakuntala Devi be kept discreet? The only reason people actually know him is because of his unusual name. What seems to be lack of creativity on his parents’ part turned out to help him gain popularity (NOT?!). Had it not been for his parents’ far sightedness, people would actually be saying “Hey, whose that guy from the movie Ganster…what’s his name? ....Yea, he corked his housekeeper”. Thanks to his Parents, people know his name! Secondly, how did he mutually rape the victim? Was it like “First you, then me?” Thirdly, why did he cover his face when being produced in court? Was he afraid that people might recognize him? Anyway, the official spokesperson on this issue, as always, is Mahesh Bhatt. I assure you; he will not withhold his opinion, and will not withhold his hands from scratching himself while he shares it.

Over to the T20 loss – I do not understand what the hoopla is all about and why Bejan Daruwala has to butt-in and blame a planet for India’s loss in a sport. All this, while good ‘ol Saturn was busy minding his own business spinnin away! Its that time of the year again, where our esteemed countrymen will get together at the neighborhood panwala to share their 2 cents about the deteriorating performance of Team India. Thank God, we have a South African to blame.

Now, comes the juiciest part. The ass-kickin of our much cherished Sunny Malhotras and Vicky Singhals Down-Under. Over the years, I have become a racism connoisseur, and the reasons are right in front of our eyes. The attacks are not racist in nature. It is Heeng. Yes, that right, primarily, they are culinary attacks. Now I am not saying that Aussies are not racist, they are. However, every Indian who has gone to Australia for a 6 month course is some university has contemplated ‘settling’ there – at any cost; and for some reason, thinks he/she is Australian. Before the person crosses the Immigration Check, a new word has been added to their vocab - MATE....Hey Mate, this is Baldev Mate, I was looking for the grocery store as I am new in town..Mate....blah blah..

Indians live in bunkbeds, drive a cab, work at the local grocery store and basically do anything so their families back home can brag and say “Sadda Sunny te Aushtralia ich settle ho gaya hai…..hun koi vadiya jeyi kudi vekh ke byaah kar dene aan; fees di recovery te ho” (Our Sunny is settled in Australia, lets find him a girl and get him married so we can recover the college fees with the dowry money). It is not rocket science, if a university campus smells like a nuclear warhead (with spices instead of uranium) blew up, and out pop a group of foreigners who smelt like the source, you’d be pissed too, no matter which part of the world you live in. Some Indians think violating Visa laws and refusing to exit the country is ‘citizenship’. They have done nothing to adapt to the Aussie way of life apart from religiously repeating the word 'Mate" after every 6 words,getting a crew cut and growing a one-hair-thick(or thin?) French beard and wearing loose clothes. We do not know how to stand for ourselves. If someone beats the crap out of us, our way of 'stickin it to the man' is marching with a candle with a poster. We are only good at dissing each other, and Pakis of course. I have the solution. Please do not be obnoxious, please respect and learn Australian etiquette, if you wish to live there and not get your ass beat.

Now, if you think that I am bit too opinionated, let me correct you. Its not like I am biased, I hate everyone equally.

Stab

Sariska - The Road Trip

2009-06-15T23:48:00.005+04:00

This is a old video, back by popular demand.. Enjoy!

Homesick

2009-06-08T12:10:00.001+04:00

Home is no longer home - it’s a place I once lived.

Regrettably, it will never be the same again. It will never just be home again. It sure will be my original home. I sometimes feel scared that that the significance of that home will only be on my passport as my “permanent address”. My image of it has been tarnished because, now I’ve got used to not living here, it's no longer weird to be in my flat by myself but weird to be in my parents’ house back ‘home’. I guess I've been away too long.

Conflictingly, I know, that if I ever go back to live there again, I am gonna hate it. My sense of independence will be lost; no longer will I be the only person I really need to consider. I won’t be able to come and go as I please and that will annoy the hell out of me; de facto, I fear that this has already happened because if there's one thing I love about living alone, is the independence.

This does not mean that I do not feel homesick, although I AM perfect, I still have days where I feel run down and lonely and just wanna be with my Parents and all my friends.

I am tired to scheming and planning pranks sitting so far away, I hope I get a chance to unleash hell on some poor soul soon– in person, for a change.

Getting a date in the land of dates:

2009-04-19T15:37:00.006+04:00

Living in Dubai can be tough if you are single and away from family. Being single is not a curse. If you plan to change it, here is what you need to become a chic magnet. Before you begin your journey, please understand that this exercise proves more difficult if you have too much faith in ‘the system’ and aim at honeys way outside your league. With that out of the way, here goes:

You will need the following:
1) A kid who does not call you “Dad”. It is important not to overdo the ‘caring, gentle, fatherly’ bit. You simply need to demonstrate that you can take care of a kid. Make sure you smile at the kid only when you know that hot chica is watching
2) A newspaper that is not neatly folded. It shows that you are aware of what is happening around you
3) Sunglasses: no aviators please, unless you are a pilot (and you would really have to be obtuse if you are a pilot and single). Do not wear them indoors
4) Worn-out leather stuff: messenger bag and shoes. Shows that you are well traveled
5) A macbook air: shows you have creativity (and money)
6) A Touch-screen phone, when used sparingly, indicates that you know how to swipe your fingers
7) A book: remember – Playboy is not a book, and no one reads the articles. It has to be a fat book too, you gotta show that you are the intellectual kind
8) Clothing: Shirts should be crinkled, and not tucked.
9) Accessories: No Gold watch please

The best place to try this, at a coffee shop or sth. I have tried it many times, and it works. Okay, it did not work for me. Although, if you try it, it might, and at the end of the day, what do you have to loose? Except AED 10000?

P.S.: I do not have a macbook air. I do not have a touch-screen phone. I do not have a leather bag. I wear shorts and flip-flops when I go out. And, I do not drink coffee.

Doob Town Invasion

2009-04-08T09:31:00.007+04:00

Picture is worth a thousand words, and a video is worth a thousand pictures.

How many high school teachers do this?

2009-01-31T03:12:00.003+04:00

I found this video online and was so amused to see him bust a move with students..Mr.Pathak does not cease to amaze me, he truly is an entertainer, even if it means making a complete fool out of himself, which he does several times a day; I gotta admit, he is cool...You dont find teachers who dance like crazy at school jammin sessions! ~

Happy Life - 4 Life! Hard hitting reporting from the Khaleej Times!

2009-01-29T16:39:00.014+04:00

Click image to zoom

Ok, so I was reading the newspaper this morning, where I came across this informative news item. Apart from befooling the viewer by exchanging the "Before" and "After" images, there are a coupla really interesting observations. This ad has gone out of the way to promote Indo-European friendship. The company "Happy and Ruby Group" have sacrificed their ad space in the greater interest of world friendship, but mentioning "European Technology" against the background of the Indian Tricolor. Their truly selfless act does not stop here. They have promoted Indo-European friendship in the Gulf. Although I am not sure of the significance of Indo-European friendship to the Middle-East, I am sure the creator of this ad is quite intellectual and must know what he was doing. So, everyone wins, except ET who is already half bald, and is not interested in inter-galactic politics...not even jadoo (from the Indian adaptation of ET) gives a S*** about world politics - at least in my opinion.

Some questions are sill unanswered- How is it possible to show a demo of hair growing on a bald man's head? Or is it now possible because a lotta people have lost thier jobs to crashing economies, and now have time to watch hair grow....?

Well, ss long as I have a job and am happy, and everyone has a "Happy Life" too, I'm cool!

A Billion others might dignify your words with a response....spare me the goodbye.

2009-01-25T19:55:00.005+04:00

Yes, I am an Indian. I come from a land that is culturally rich, colorful and vibrant. If you ever get a chance to talk to me, please do not engage in a conversation about the following:

Bollywood, is not a city or town, or village. If you travel to India, please do not expect to see people dancing in color coordinated clothes and with every dance move in-sync with the exception of a couple who is allowed to wear their own clothes. Please do not start a conversation with "I loved 'whats the actor's name'....in whatever movie". Do you start a conversation with every Chinese person that begins with "I loved Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon" ?

I am not a PC Technician. I may be able to solve some of your problems but this, in no way means that you store my number as IT Helpdesk and feel free to contact me in the middle of the night, just because you can't right-click an icon on your desktop

"I love Indian Food" or "I love Dal, and Butter Naan and Butter Chicken". Let me tell you that these three standard things that you order at restaurants do not cover Indian Cuisine. Secondly, I do not greet every Mexican with "I love Tacos e Burritos".

When waiting for a cab, do not look at me and think I will come out with a secret sign that will stop cabs just because half the cab drivers of the world are Indian

Don't tell me about your neighbour/friend Sanjeev to check if I know him. We are a billion and counting...one tends to loose track

Everybody is an Aunty or an Uncle in India. Deal with it. I did not come up with that, so don't ask me why we do it

Just because I am not a doctor or an engineer, does not mean I got a crap education

Indians speak many langauges, but not 'Indian' so please do not request me to 'Say something in Indian'

I hope your newly acquired knowledge about world culture helps make this world a better place...hey, we all gotta do our part, You're welcome.

Some reasons why Indian Men are never mistaken for Greek Gods

2009-01-21T18:42:00.009+04:00

To make an end is to make a beginning, Here's to new beginnings in 2009!

2009-01-11T17:39:00.008+04:00

Circa 2008

Click image to zoom

Okay, so this particular blog post has been long pending. So much so that I have forgotten half the things I wanted to write, and kept thinking, Ima blog this, Ima blog that…

Anyway, lets talk about my recent long trip to India; a surprise yet again (Seems to me that people are getting used to the surprises, I guess I will announce my arrival and then not show up to surprise them from now on..!). Mum was traveling, infact I missed her by only half n hour. It was quite hilarious when Dad didn’t show any sorta excitement, instead mistook me for a guy who came to collect a cheque to his office, only after I said hello a second time did he realize that it was actually his son!

It took me a while to get used to driving and the traffic etiquette in Delhi - or the lack of it! When I think back, it was quite hilarious to have my heart in my mouth while steering through traffic, and activating the rain-wipers instead of indicators due to the jumbled up arrangement on the dashboard of the car. Funny how I feel scared to drive in the same amount of traffic I once learnt how to drive in. My beloved car was also at the receiving end of some battery by me, I broke the cabin light, and the door wire inside, so the driver’s door could only be opened from the inside, not before putting my yoga lessons to test every time I wanted to get in!

It was beautiful to actually observe life in India, I feel being away from it, I actually seem to observe more. It was great to see random attendants actually paying attention to customer service, people actually smiling back and replying every time they heard me say “Thank You”. During this time, when the world faces this global crisis, seeing a family travel happily on a scooter, or for some fortunate ones, a car, completely oblivious to the ‘crisis’ was amusing. Amusing because I live in a place that has so much money that they throw the most expensive launch of a hotel in world history in the face of the financial crisis; when compared with the scene I saw here, where a family can be happy traveling on a scooter, and not knowing what the world faces, was funny. Both situations have one thing in common, people don’t know about the crisis, reasons vary, namely because one side has so much money, they aren’t affected, and the other side has so little, that the ups and downs of the financial market does not affect them. I am happy to know that people are happy.

I could not meet all the people I am in touch with due to circumstances I didn’t choose, and in some cases, I chose circumstances that were not conducive to meeting them. Met someone after almost 6 years, and was more awesome than I could ever imagine. That particular meeting left a big impact on me, and I sit here missing good times. For the first time, I was in India and could not meet once of my closest friends, who was busy adding to the Thai economy with his newly formed ‘acquaintances’.

I lost my Grandfather, well actually my Maternal Grandfather’s younger brother, who I fondly called Chotey Nanaji. He was a freedom fighter, who hoisted the first Indian flag in his state. He lived a truly great life, and a healthy one. He was 90, healthy as ever, despite having lived more than more than 50 yrs of his life a diabetic on insulin. A true Gandhian, who only wore Khadi, did his own laundry, and prepared his own meals, till his last day alive. He was a professional artist, who painted for the likes of The Queen of Ceylon, and was often invited to England in the 50s and 60s, a big thing for an Indian artist. He was also involved as an art director in Bollywood, and also launched Kabir Bedi in the industry. He surprised everyone with his demise when he did not answer his wake-up call. Many well known figures attended the prayer meeting in his honour, amidst heavy press coverage. If I have one regret in life, it’s the fact that I feel I should have called him more. I was thinking of surprising him in at the end of 2008; he surprised me instead.

This year was quite eventful, failed visa requests, failed relationship which I now refer to as a relationshiT, moving to a new country, Chotey Nanaji’s unexpected demise, true love lost due to ignorance, freakish weight gain, freakier weight loss, fights, making up, Diwali Fireworks, 5 new tattoos, Cinmin’s death, a piercing I had to give up before I could flaunt it, turning Vegan, Prateek’s trip to Dubai, being famous, new learning and a brand new outlook in life…it was all there.

Onto 2009 then, I love the way this year has started for me. No resolutions, but New Plans, New promises, New sparks…New Kunal.

B-I-G

2009-01-05T23:54:00.004+04:00

Wow! I had no idea this was gonna be released so soon! AWESOME!

My Cindy - January 19,1997 - December 3, 2008 - I will Miss You. RIP

2008-12-03T10:49:00.006+04:00

I remember the day you came home for the first time...I was getting ready for school, when I saw my sister carry you in her arms, I thought you were a fur-ball, or a soft toy, you were so small. I remember, immediately after I saw you, I had a really bad stomach ache, and wanted to stay home that day; that was no stomach ache, you were so cute I didn't wanna go anywhere and wanted to play with you. Since it was a cold January morning in the year 1997, the 19th, you were feeling very cold, even after being wrapped in a shawl. I remember everyone looked for something to make you wear, but you were so small, that it called for a custom-made sweater for you. after much thinking, my old sock from my school uniform came to mind...we cut the foot-end and made two holes on either side; and that was your first sweater.

I remember how we hid you from Dad for 3 days, because we knew that he would freak out if he saw you, as if Tyson was not enough....one of us was on constant watch, but as fate would have it, everyone got up to get ready, and you decided to move around under the sheets the moment Dad walked in! What followed was a series of arguments, one sided though, because I had formed an unbreakable bond with you in 3 days, and would not give you up...You would have been taken away by another family had I not howled like a li'l girl at that precise moment. Who would have thought that Dad would grow so fond of you, that it would make me doubt if he loved me more, or you! Of course, Mum did all the work, taking you out for a walk, feeding you, putting you to sleep, she really was your Mum too.

I remember how your first bed was a fruit basket, and you would sleep all day, ALL DAY, and would only get out of your basket to get up and pee, and then sneak back in, with perfect ease. I loved watching you sleep. You looked so cute that none of us would let you sleep, and would kiss you, only to hear you go "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" we loved it everytime you did that. I remember how much I loved to irritate you, I would tease you that you looked like a fox. You were a pampered one too, how you would sit in the middle of every family meeting we had, how you would come to the other room to ask for the AC to be switched on for you, how you would steal food from Tyson's mouth, and how he would look at you in disbelief, and would simply give up, he loved you a lot, and in a way I am happy that you are with him now. How you would only drink milk only because he loved it, and how you would eat your food in the same bowl.

The funniest thing about you was how you greeted everyone who walked in....with a long 'aaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' followed by a river of pee! we could never solve this mystery - why did you pee everytime you were happy?

I am thankful to God that I got to see you healthy, and active this Diwali, I will never forget how you came to the balcony and started barking and I tried my best to stop you, or it would ruin the surprise for everyone....I cannot believe I will never get that welcome again. I won't say how sad I feel now that you are not there, I would want to celebrate your life instead. I only wish I would hear you talk one more time, I know I imposed a 'No Entry' in my room for you, well, I want you to know, that you are most welcome to come into my room and stay there for as long as you want. Its your room too. I love you my Cinnu, rest well my dear...till I see you again.

Jai Maharashtra!

2008-11-13T14:09:00.008+04:00

Follow these simple instructions to become a true Marathi. If you are a Marathi, You owe it to Maharashtra and more importantly, to Raj Thackrey.

जय महाराष्ट्र!

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, he shouldn't study harder, just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school.

2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi.

3. Prime Minister, President and all other leaders should only be from Delhi.

4. No Hindi movie should be made in Mumbai. Only Marathi movies must be made there.

5. Buses, trains, flights should be stopped at every state border and staff should be changed to local men.

6. All Marathis working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are 'snatching' employment from locals.

7. Lord Shiva, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas).

8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from Uttar Pradesh (UP) only.

9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from Centre because that is the money collected as tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?

10. Let us support Kashmiri militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community.

11. Let us throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra. Why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world.

12. Let us stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should also speak Marathi.

13 We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10-times higher price, but should not accept imports from other states.

14. We should not allow any industry to be set up in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside.

15. We should stop using local trains as trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and the Railway Minister is also from Bihar.

16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharasthra, then they will become true Marathis.

17.If you are not a Marathi by origin but have been making a living there, you should abandon your life before you moved to Maharashtra and never mention any other place except the ones in the state of Maharashtra. The reason you have that job is not because of your own merit, but because you are in Maharashtra.

We need to make it clear once and for all, we are Indian first. Mumbai is Mumbai because it is a part of India.
P.S.: YOU SUCK, RAJ THACKREY!

Delhi to Dubai....Back to the grind!

2008-11-04T18:08:00.006+04:00

After a successful trip to Meri Dilli, Its getting back to the grind here in Dubai. Delhi did have something to send back with me, it was the worst flu I ever caught, but I guess It was simply because Delhi didn't want me to leave.

Its funny how things change, how quickly we adapt, because a place I called home for all my life, is now a vacation home for me. I somehow realise how much I loved this place, now that I am not there anymore.

Touchdown!

The 2008 Diwali Surprise! Dilli mein Diwali aur mere Dost

2008-11-04T16:20:00.010+04:00

I lost hope when I could not come to Delhi earlier in the month of October due to certain professional obligations. I did not understand that all this was a part of a bigger plan that God had in mind for me. It all works out in the end, and it did for me, in every respect, and Inshallah it will, in the future too.

So after counting down the days for 23 days, I finally made my way to my home. Everyday, I would have frustrating moments because I would want time to pass quicker, but like someone who was once very close to me said, "Its one day less". I had this incessant urge to tell everyone that I was coming to see them, but that would ruin the surprise, so I hung on. The only two people who knew that I was coming were my good friends Hamza and Prateek, and Prateek was instrumental in making this surprise a success. This was one surprise that went according to plan in recent times for me so I'm very happy about it. Mum was almost shocked to see me, as I rang the doorbell and stood in front of her with a straight face, no baggage, as If I came back from the gym or something, and she kept looking at me for 2 mins. I have gained a li'l weight, so she felt like it was someone who had a striking resemblance with me, but not actually me! Only when I bent forward and whispered into her ears "Its really me!" did she 'un-freeze'! My Dad was also so surprised to see me, Mum called him at work and told him that he had some relatives over. So all in all, it was a wonderful surprise!

Then began the series of surprises, but the one with Anubha was awesome-o! I called her and told her that I was from IBM's HR Dept and wanted to meet her regarding a certain issue at work recently, so I asked to step out of the training session and meet me at the building's entrance. I pulled over in my car, slid the window and stared at her, she was in a fix whether to look or not, at the risk of being caught gawking at a guy right outside work as the cabbies and guards looked on. She was very brave and took that step, only to start abusing me aloud when she realised that she had been pranked, for the 213254321354356301th time. It was a great day and I was on a roll!

This trip meant a lot to me, it was the first time I was in town after officially being termed a Non-Required Indian. A great trip, meeting Abdul, Prateek, Hamza, Sangha and everyone else after so long, listening to cheap cheezy music with Prateek in the car, driving around India Gate and getting stuck in traffic, blatantly disrespecting traffic rules, stopping for only 2 red lights during my entire trip, driving on the wrong side of the road and videotaping it, our special meeting with at Hamza's house, where Prateek danced to the song 'Mysterious Girl' as a dedication to me because he thought I would go around singing that song trying to impress girls on Jumeirah Beach soon, dancing to cheap songs from the 90s, and seeing Hamza's buttcrack while he tried to entertain us with his dancemoves, means a lot to me guys.

Meeting my friends from the 'Ozone Days' at Fitness First was awesome and it sure was good fun pumping some iron with them. The constant question on which Fitness First was better and what the trainers are like in Dubai sure made for long conversations with no final verdict.

After finally convincing Abdul to get inked, it was truly hilarious to see a guy who looks like he could stop an 18-wheeler with his bare hands, asking for sugar and black coffee because he felt 'woozy' while getting it! I added 4 more tatts myself, which makes it 6 now.

Finally getting to meet Palak and Saumya was great, would have been greater had they not been late, because I felt like it was an hour wasted, one, that we could have spent together! Recieving those handmade lamps truly made it one of the best Diwalis ever for me. They rest well on my window, and will be lit only on special occassions, as they are very, very special to me.

Sangha, you are truly awesome my girl, thank you so much for arranging that surprise for me with Madhur, and what was her name? lol! Even though I had fever and was pretty fucked up that night, it meant a lot to me!

I will miss you all, and you all better be prepared, You never know, I'm getting better with surprises!

When citizens take the law into their own hands...

2008-09-19T16:20:00.016+04:00

This picture was taken in southern New Delhi, near the Nizamuddin Dargah. For those who do not understand Hindi, It translates into this: It is forbidden to deficate here. Fine - INR. 100 MCD(Municipal Corporation of Delhi)

The municipality is not known to be so proactive in the city, and I got very suspicious because I can't imagine them painting warnings on people's doors. This is obviously the work of the occupant of the house, and I see this as the last resort. This is not meant to humour you, it is to make you aware of someone's misery. How helpless would you feel to be greeted by a turd everytime you step out your door?!

This could even be a marketing ploy by the occupant to make a quick buck. People live very difficult lives in this country, and the inflation that surrounds us today, does not make it easier to make that extra buck. I did not stick around to recce the surroundings, however, it could pose to be an optimum spot for someone to take a dump. I did see a lot of greenery around, which now seems to a means to lure people to come here...

This sign has raised a lot of practical questions too. What if this really is a work of the Municipality? How do the fines work? Is a person allowed to finish his dirty work before he is handed that ticket? What material is the fine slip? Is it 2-Ply? Or could the occupant be a sick pervert who derives pleasure out of seeing people squatting?

A LOT OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS....

DAMN YOU Kwack-Thoo

2008-09-19T16:20:00.015+04:00

It has become increasingly important for the Indian Govt. to display such "WARNINGS" on painted boards these days.... when you look closer, these are not permanently fixed/painted onto the wall.

One is forced to think whether this is the most effective way to deal with this menace when you see the usage of temporary signage, and paint dripping down the wall. On closer examination, it was found that the number of layers of paint on the digit '5' is significantly more than the following zeros thereby pointing the severity of the problem and the authorities' incompetence in dealing with the issue that surrounds most buildings in north India.After all...money is just a thing.

How to preserve your modesty in the Arab world...

2008-09-19T05:20:00.010+04:00

What does a fitness enthusiast do to remain fit in a place that encourages this? Modesty is highly subjective these days... It becomes increasingly confusing for a person of foreign origin to map expectations of locals when something like this is seen in the same lockeroom that has a sign that says "No Nudity" and "No Photography" at the entrance.

What confuses a man even more, is the fact that the place is run mostly by Filipinos, with girls who look like men, and Men, who look like girls. One can never be sure if you are speaking to a girl or a guy, with the exception of the bald ones. I have always been used to working out at a "Gym" and not a fitness spa; working out at Fitness First Dubai means you need social skills, tight clothes, the glossiest hair gel and the latest iPod. What seems to bind everyone together is common "baggage".....with their li'l blue & light yellow bags and their blue FF Sippers.

The amount of weight men lift here is directly proportional to the distance between them and the nearest hottie. I have seen men lift triple the weight when a girl walks by them, only to disappear for the next 2 weeks because their muscles have been maxed out. The women are not far behind, they 'dress up' for the gym, makeup, et al... Fitness here has more to do with social status, rather than the word itself.

I recently attended the yoga group session here, with participants in ultra-serene-hindu mode. It was a highly entertaining session, with people twisting and turning at the command of a puny south indian man, whose accent could not be understood by anyone except himself. In order to camouflage, I did what everyone else was doing, rather than listen for cues, because what came out of his mouth sounded like sound effects from a hindi Sunil Shetty action movie from the 90s. By the end, everyone looked at me with their eyebrows raised after seeing a wry smile on my face.. I'm getting really bad at hiding my expression..... ;-)

P.S. The picture is 'photoshopped' by me for dramatic effect.